Near Death Experience Nick Sambrook March 2005 New Zealand – North Island

 

This experience took me around three years before I was able to even document it or describe it, as it was so extreme. Even now the experience is constantly fixed in my mind and memory as if it happened only yesterday.

 

I was lying in bed resting after suffering an injury to my neck that day, and I had overexerted myself, and had gone to bed to rest. There was a buildup of energy and stress in my body going up my spine, into my head, and I felt a sense of lack of connection and control.

I began to sweat, hard. I tried to relax, forcing myself to breathe and regulate my panic. But I could sense a direct lack of feeling in my body, and my legs and arms disappearing, and numbness filling my head, as when taking in anesthetic gas.

 

It was a sense of moving in on myself, trapped and held somewhere between asleep and awake. Trained to manage my mind in stressful situations, I stuck to my meditation tools and mind disciplines to keep myself conscious at some level. In some control over my instincts, not to panic, to focus, and to concentrate.

As it all slipped away there was a closing-in mental numbness until everything was gone, no sounds of the birds outside or feelings. No senses, just my mind; but not in any state I had ever known. I went through intense feelings from absolute fear to total and complete and utter limitless bliss, love and elation, free of any sense of self. 

Then suddenly it was all gone in an instant, a sudden indescribably rush of transition from one state or paradigm to another. Though there was no emotion at all, and no feelings of fear or happiness; it was just completely dark and empty with no other sense of anything. But I was still there, not asleep or unconscious and not in a dream state, just in a vast empty, stark, intense black void of endless vivid infinite nothing. It felt as if I were now somewhere else completely, and yet I hadn’t moved.

 

The intensity was overpowering, and my brain was racing to adapt to the strange perception of what state I was in. It was racing to cope and interpret or give meaning to this new state.

It felt oddly natural or normal somehow. All the processing power normally set aside for the use of my senses was inquisitively looking around for something to do - to see, to feel, or hear, or anything to latch on to in this vast empty void of nothing, which oddly felt more real than physical reality.

Occasionally shimmering walls of something vivid and yet intangible would appear above and to the side, and would then close in only to disappear as my mind tried to create something to get some form of depth or perception of where I was, before being dismissed as fake or illusionary by my mind that was not easily fooled or hypnotised.

Gradually I could feel myself calming down and gaining control, so I continued to send slow, deliberate messages to my lungs to breathe; even though I couldn’t feel any part of my body or any physical awareness, I sent the signals anyway. But I had no idea if I was breathing or if my body had just stopped functioning in my absence.

My mind was on fire now, racing on its own, alive with freedom, uninhibited, detached, and unrestrained outside of its device, and normal programming.

The initial sense of foreboding was diminishing, and was now replaced with heightened, intellectual, emotionless thinking, processing dozens of complex thoughts all at the same time. Without the sensual distractions it was doing a whole day’s thinking in a few seconds, with intense energetic currents and flows. It was thrilling, unbounded and unrefined, combined again with the occasional intense sensation of déjà vu.

 

Yet I was completely rational and self-aware. This was not dreaming or a state of unconsciousness - this was very different. Conscious, clear and very immediate, there were multi-level feelings, thoughts and emotions flowing in like strong waves. I was in control and could make rational choices of thought in a streamlined conscious way.

I could now optimise my own thoughts at many levels, like computing via conduits at astounding speeds without distractions. It was a feeling that I wasn’t able to relate to anything I had been through before, everything seemed to be happening instantaneously. It was all new and thrilling, quick and highly refined, yet intangible. Before this I had never had any esoteric, spiritual, NDE or OOB type experiences before.

 

Everything seemed to make so much more sense here, and was so much clearer and faster, meaningful, and I was able to seemingly now resolve thought in abstract and multidimensional ways like there had been a release of pressure and constraint or bandwidth. It was all pure and uncluttered and whatever this was, I was just in it, and part of it.

Then everything stopped in my mind. I diverted my attention outwards. Again it was pitch-black; depthless, quiet and still, empty, unimaginably vast, like floating in deep space, but with no stars or light anywhere. This was not like being in a deep black room where you can somehow sense the walls even in complete darkness. Here there were no walls, nothing. Just a total, endless black starless void, and yet that void itself was intensely clear, cold, hard, brutal and vibrant.

I seemed to have lost my identity too, my own self, and I had no feeling of who or what I was. All I had was curiosity and knowledge.

 

Slowly I became aware of something in the blackness below. Something indiscernible and vast began to appear from the darkness and was now coming up. Impossibly far away at first, flat and shimmering with vibrant intensity in the dark, using up all of the down space, miles away.

 

It was a floor, like a flat, black ground or terrain yet with curved horizons coming up from the depths. All on the very limits of my visualization or awareness, but there, discernible and everywhere below. It had taken my full attention because it wasn’t coming from me, I was sure of that. It was vast, black, massive, and occupying everything downwards like a dark plain, cold black shimmering sea, or spherical planet’s surface.

 

I now felt cold, and sensed a vibration - but that may have been a part of my brain reacting to its association of where it thought it was. Perhaps the distance telling me that it should be cold up here, telling me I must be somewhere up high in space where there was no light or heat, just void and an unnatural, uncomfortable space.

I instinctively looked up but there was nothing. There was no sense of wind, but it seemed as though there should be. There was a kind of background faint roaring noise like strong wind makes far off high in the air. There was a deep, low-frequency, vibrating sound too that I could somehow feel but not hear.

As I concentrated, more detail became evident, and directly below me I could now make out massive matt black pieces or tiles that formed the terrain. They fitted together, interconnecting as giant jigsaw pieces, moving and floating as if slightly separate, and yet integrated, making up the entire surface far off below.

 

The edges of the pieces shimmered being on the very limits of my perception, my mind’s eye straining to create form and contrast to them, trying to create discernable edges.

 More pieces became identifiable as I looked around below. I knew it was a representation of something; a translation of a thing or data that existed that had no visual form.

It was manifesting itself in this way to give some form of reference, so that I could visualise it or interpret, or perceive it in some way, but with associated rules, laws, and constraints. I was sure I wasn’t creating it; it was just something expressing or representing something to me in a way I could relate to or comprehend from this point of reference or context.

It seemed quite stark, harsh, hard, and almost brutal. Of the two dozen pieces that were now clearly visible directly below, each piece, or tile, was linked four ways to other pieces just like a normal jigsaw, all interconnected.

 

I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be that way, or if my mind just presented it like that to make sense of the information, or to represent connectivity, as any other completed jigsaw would be.

Each piece was flat and many miles across. The map went on further to the horizon, but I could perceive that it wasn’t endless, maybe forming part of a giant sphere, and there was an actual horizon all around edged with a different ‘light’ intensity.

 

There was also a feeling of something else there next to me in the void. But not something I could see, just sense, or feel, like when you know someone is watching you, or the change in air pressure when someone comes into a room behind you.

I knew it was there and yet it felt quite natural and somehow normal. It had a sense of being just very practical, and emotionless; something doing its job in the dark with me or part of me. The presence was not threatening, imposing, or dominating in any way, nor with any deity-like charisma or feel. It was just there like some sort of emotionless friend or helper, but had nothing to contribute. I didn’t feel surprised at it being here, strangely, like a friend I had known for a long time, and I was almost expecting to be there. I felt almost bland acknowledgement, just impassive, with a ‘nothing to say’ feeling.

 

Looking down again I tried to come to terms with what I was ‘looking’ at, and what this jigsaw puzzle meant. Immediately, and as if in response the answers came to me; but not spoken or written words, but as a direct relay of information, a feeling, a recognition, a statement of thought passed directly and instantly into my mind.

I experienced the answer and understood it at once rather than something actually being said. It was a statement, a picture of knowledge, an expression fed straight into my brain, a pure information transfer. It also seemed subdued somehow as if it were tired or weak. I just asked in my mind, and something gave me the answer back in instant thought relay in a completely matter-of-fact way – like an AI response.

 

What I was ‘told’ or ‘shown’, if that is the correct definition, was that what I was seeing was a map of knowledge of everything. Structured answers to every conceivable concept and question, and memory, laid out in integrated pieces. A vast, consolidated, integrated knowledge base or database of total information. All manifested and presented in its most perfect, resolved, and integrated, correlated form.

(Now after 20 years of study since then, reading, and working with various professors and PhDs around the world, along with esoteric experts, spiritualists and some very gifted individuals. Along with studying academic subjects ranging from philosophy, psychology, physics, esoteric history and consciousness – I now have a very clear understanding of what all this was).

 

So at that point, the dark pieces then started to take on more texture, meaning and form, with shapes appearing in them with dynamic elements and motion, but still maintaining their vast original structure, coherence and blackness.

Looking at each piece individually from a distance I could feel or sense what that element was about, somehow, like an index page. Some concepts were massive, complex and awe-inspiring, and yet at the same time they felt like normal, almost everyday things.

Each component piece contained a distributed network of consolidated mass structured data. Some pieces were abstract and obscure in content, or in some cases just blank or seemingly deliberately hidden. 

 

I formed the words as a thought in my mind to make contact with what was next to me, ‘what am I seeing ?’

 The answer again came back as a thought again, rather than a reply in words, together with images, feelings and impressions, but all happening in an instant directly into my mind. There was a sense of straightforwardness about it all, one of emotionless practicality and indifference, like serving a function, allowing me access, or sharing a conversation. It was as if that was what it was there to do, an interactive librarian; just a guide willing to answer questions, there to help. Again explaining what this all was in a different way.

 

Somehow I knew what to do and what these things were; I was drawn to the answers below. I wanted to explore and know more.  Now, I also felt as if some sort of guard or fail-safe had been removed, and because whatever was next to me gave no warning or caution, I assumed it was alright. There was no indication of danger, it was somehow ‘OK’.

I was also sure that the thing that was communicating with me didn’t feel like any sort of ‘god’ or anything dangerous, sinister or powerful, so it was all OK somehow; it was just natural curiosity.

Rather than move myself to the pieces I decided to try and move one towards me. I chose a piece below at random and changed my virtual vision and depth of field to be closer (although thinking about it now there is really no difference).

Shrinking as it came nearer, until seeming only a few feet away, it was now only several yards across. Then I went into it, and I was part of it, and it filled the space all around me.

 

There was a sudden, massive parallel pulse of instant understanding, experience, thought, logic, and knowledge imprinted into my brain all at once, like a dimensionally independent array of images; a mass of visions, flowing thoughts and knowledge. I could visualise intense flows of information and vortices.

There were no feelings or emotion, just a rush of complex information, a mind-blowing dimensional mass of indescribably perfect knowledge. Thought, logic, integrated concepts, and beautifully represented rationale all happening at once, like being given an internet AI ‘plug-in’ to the brain. A sudden awareness of extreme knowledge along with literally being ‘inside knowledge’, combined with the understanding and experience of many world experts in that field all at once and knowing and aware of all they know.

 

It was direct, hard and intense, and definitely not coming from me – I had previously no knowledge of most of this information (although educated to degree level etc.). It was so completely and utterly different and extreme to anything I had ever experienced before. It was indescribably exquisite, intensely articulate, and it all made perfect profound sense instantly. It continued to expand and elaborate, flowing in all directions. All the time it was completely open, expansive, and everything was immediately obvious in every sense. It was vast, like being inside total understanding of everything, a cosmic awareness.

 

The sensation was like nothing I had had before and was totally indescribable. It wasn’t just like having something explained, or knowledge shown to you, it was ‘the explanation’ and the ‘knowledge’ transferred en-masse directly into your mind along with a blissful, euphoric feeling.

 

 

Yet the physical sensation (as I then had some physical sense when this part was happened) was like grabbing two metal bars with either hand through which an electric current was flowing - not enough to electrocute you, but enough to switch everything on in your body and mind all at once in vibration until you let go.

 However, instead of electricity it was limitless information and data delivered in an instant. But it was also capable of being explored, navigable, and instantly understandable in every concept; massive awareness and a limitless cosmic conscious understanding.

There were all the answers presented in majestic, perfect, obvious splendor, without (as it seemed at the time) limitations, no need for speech or sight, or speed of learning, but at the same time exquisite and simple, efficient and beautifully eloquent and articulately presented. All organised in a refined way that didn’t require the need for explanation, with all the context and endless correlated logic already there in instantaneous enlightenment smashed into my head all at once.

It was like no book, film, or lifetime experience ever could be. I was inside knowledge, but perceived in context that was all the parts of everything all at once in a way that was far more than the parts themselves.

 

The perceptive physical sensation had the same intense feeling as standing with your face a few inches from an express train as it rushes past, together with the nervousness you would have if someone else had their hand pressed against the back of your head at the same time. The rush, the power, the speed, and intensity, but without the physicality; just pure knowledge energy. 

 

Now I was in this one piece I understood its subject or domain of knowledge. All around me the information was obvious, the arguments, the logic, the evidence, the rational explanations. It seemed to be explaining that there was no God (or that is how it seemed). Oddly something vast, powerful, and all knowing was trying to explain to me through knowledge that there was no God. Which seemed like a contradiction.

 

Yet I understood it all, and could experience it all in every way, all the thought processes, history, all the arguments, experiences, all the explanations, reasons, religions, logic, physical evidence data and religious and esoteric history. It was just practical logic; the reasons for the mental crutch being there, the human nature aspects, the needs and evolution of its concepts, the analysis of evidence, the archetypes, the science, nature and the complex analysis reinforced with injustices. Why the ideas were there, and what had caused them, and their origins.

 

Every conceivable scrap of information was there in the piece around me; I had been imprinted with the overall answers and concepts all at once. If I needed to explore other factual component elements, they were all there in intricate detail, laid out around me and manifested in perfect, eloquent, exquisite logic. It was all just a misunderstanding, a breakdown of communication, a misrepresentation of the collective mind. Yet it seemed to be contradicting itself, and with gaps.

Yet there was something not quite right too. There was more, another level of perspective that initially seemed to say the same thing, but then in argument for there being one, ‘a god’, with reference to the previous, and then links off into other pieces, giving greater depth.

 

It all culminated in what seemed to be a confused mess all in the space of less than a minute. It then seemed to convey three different concepts at once.

I knew everything, I was inside knowledge, but it didn’t seem to integrate somehow, like being given every answer before knowing what the problem was, or asking a question out of context.

I seemed to have been passed through a vast knowledge journey in a few seconds but there were things missing, or rather not there, but this was all totally impossible to explain.

Reacting more from the shock than anything else I moved the piece away in my mind, and I was outside, and above it all again. I looked down on the dark shadowy pieces below, from the peace and stillness of the black empty void again.

 

It had been an instant massive revelation, a completely mind-blowing experience, but at the same time emotionless, practical, hard, immutable and very direct.

It was also exhilarating and combined with a sense of achievement and enlightenment, and if I had a forehead in that place it would have been sweating by now.

I tried a few more pieces. One was the start of the Universe and its evolution, and lifespan to date. Now I knew how old it was, its development, structure, and so much more; all in instant, magnificent graphic representation. I was inside and everywhere in the Universe (or a representation of it).

 

I experienced it, knew it, and was part of it and everywhere in it all at the same time, like being inside the knowledge of it, and merged with it. The timeline of the Universe wasn’t a number; I could feel it represented, as an existence, something that was inside in my mind as an experience, looking back in the same way that you could equate or feel the time between now and when you started school. That was how it was presented, that massive timeframe - as a feeling of vastness, a lifetime.

But I was able to translate it in my own mind to a real figure of nearly fourteen billion years. The information was bounded though, and limited, so I couldn’t see anything before the start. (This figure I wasn’t aware of before this experience occurred).

 

Coming back out I noticed some pieces below me were now more intense, enhanced, or appeared to be larger somehow. The subjects of these I hadn’t previously had a clue about, or had ever been interested in.

 

Inside were concepts you couldn’t put into words, visions and images you could only experience and see in your mind, not on paper or in film, represented in an indescribably elaborate way.

 

It was all dancing around and combined with thoughts, perfection of form and representation, but not visually; it was represented as parallel thought. The balance, the symmetry and the complex interaction imprinted itself in my mind like no movie or book could ever do, but with perfect efficiency and dynamic, intricate complexity.

While in a piece I could explore, navigate. I the same way as progressing through a logical integrated network (neural or informational). At each point masses of additional knowledge would come in, all with relation to the next context, as if exploring a terrain of concept. It was enthralling, and all so clear and obvious.

Having lived your life in four dimensions, to have your mind experience the concepts, feeling and reality of notionally several more was awesome and exhilarating. The feeling came that there was one dimension more than there should have been; more than the ten or eleven that were thought of, and then it was gone (this at the time may have been aligned with the then collective academic thinking). Inside and around real atomic and subatomic structures. In and around energy flows and dynamics.

Hundreds of particle combinations with fields and waves and interaction that came with explanation, of understanding without text or needless metaphor or mathematical equations. Quantum physics explained and knowledge instantly downloaded in a way no magazine could describe in diagrams or words, or from a lifetime of lectures could explain or define (this ‘genius’ inspirational information in this instance being along the same topic/genre as presented to many others over more recent decades in an attempt to move towards the truth). (I also had no previous knowledge of quantum physics).

 

It was a rollercoaster ride of everything instantly. It was being inside the understanding and having thoughts, experience and knowledge context already in your mind at the same time. Like having the combined brains of all the experts in the world on that subject instantly, already integrated, and yet seeing it in a fantastically elaborate way that was new and perfectly presented – gaps and all.

 

Integrated concepts of time, dimensions, and quantum mechanics came through to me so I was able to gain perspective on things instantly, even seeing how things actually were in true form, compared to regimented theories that had been developed already - all to help put perspective on the final picture.

 It grew and grew in complexity. Everything now built into spheres, bubbles with surfaces spinning around, then grouped inside larger ones alike, in and around. Each spinning to different sets of rules, and contra-spinning in balance, in an ever expanding hierarchy of ‘spinning things’.  

 

I moved out again, up into the void. I then quickly went into other pieces that related to other topics and thought formations. Concepts such as aliens were presented and elaborated on, then explained through history with examples of how we had created these ideas and imaginal constructs. All logical explanations of mind attribution, understandable fear causing imaginative constructions derived from media, balanced out with natural skepticism to a point of resolution that there had been none, and were none, it was just us.

 

For the first time there was a definite sense of emotion there, and one that I couldn’t express or compare with any that I had of my own, I could sense it, but it wasn’t coming from me. These explanations went on into other pieces.

 

There were vastly more complex and integrated symmetrical biological understandings which linked off into other directions and pieces to help explain other concepts; how the brain worked and linked together, cells, neurons, human development, and DNA integration.

 

 From that I was led onto obscure concepts like ghosts. Now I knew what they were caused by, and how it worked, and how the information in static mass was perceived, stored, projected, and interpreted. All of a sudden it was obvious. They were quite simple and not confusing at all. It was just all data, information management and storage, and interpretation.

 

Then into water and its information properties (memory) and how we perceive it. Hills, cells, evolution, perception, geology, and body energy and biomechanics. It seemed to be speeding up, and getting confusing.

 

Facts were just conveyed as direct information with no associated feelings; cold, hard, mind flashes packed with understanding - like the 546 years that humanity had left, accepting this information all in the same way, without emotion or feeling, just with a matter-of-fact placidity, and stated facts.

Subatomic field communications between us, explaining all sorts of previously mysterious happenings, and imaginative mystical psychic abilities, linked back to other pieces in practical ways. It all became not so mysterious, and all quite obvious.

 

The direction wasn’t structured though now. I just seemed to drift from one experience into the next, or so it felt. I didn’t question it, or halt the flow, but just went  with it and accepted it as a passive observer, now along for the ride, not stirring or panicking, just accepting the rush, but still with some reduced selective choice.

When I pushed the pieces away, the intensity of what I had experienced diminished dramatically. I still had the information in my mind, but there were no links with it as before, the mapping and navigation had stopped, so recalling context and structure was difficult and faded in intensity quickly. Like pausing a hundred films that you were watching all at the same time, each of which interrelated to the others - you could remember the films to some extent, and the conclusions, but the cohesion and the interaction stopped immediately.

 

I still had the answers though, and most of the information, but the beauty, depth and elegance was not there; I couldn’t articulate it or navigate it in the way it was inside the piece, I was just left with the experience and memory. I knew that I knew it, and the intense feeling was still there, and raw, but now I relied on my brain connectors to integrate the elements together to allow me to recall and remember the information in some vague form.

 

It was a struggle fitting together the information and how it worked, as I hadn’t lived through these experiences of knowledge or built them up gradually in a structured way, I was just being left with dozens of encyclopedia volumes of data but no linked indexes.

 

 It was like opening up a computer cover and throwing an encyclopedia in and expecting the machine to read the pages and store the data. So, somehow, there was a big difference between my memory and my mind, and how the information was stored here and how it was represented.

Some pieces were obscure and almost useless. The layouts and structures of cities for example; what they looked like over time, and how to navigate them. They were just like a mental picture, so I didn’t venture into those.

 

Obscure things like how to maintain a forest, and utility type knowledge, vibrational movement, and some that seemed to have no context or value at all from my perspective.

It was all very different to how you would learn or remember things in real life though. The data and understanding weren’t linked together with connections as you would for experiences on say, a holiday, with the journey, links, the sites, emotions, meals and events all giving you a set of memory pegs, neural network, or step journey.

A few of the pieces that were previously dark now began to change and have elements in them that I could see. On entering one it became clear that I could only see this knowledge because I was now able to put it into context because of what I had already been shown elsewhere.

 

That made sense. Before then it would have been meaningless so there would have been no reference. I could also go back into previous pieces and get more of it in context; like now knowing what the Universe was for and why, which seemed to cause some confusion.

 

There were also things that raised questions in my mind that I couldn’t answer for some reason, as if I had gone into things I shouldn’t have, as if I had seen too much by accident. There were also contradictions between domains.

 

I understood what destiny was now (well an idea of it anyway), but it still left quite a few missing pieces that were unnerving, a disassociation, lost elements - things that should be there that weren’t.

 

Then it all began to gather pace.

 

On the next piece was a simple flash of lightning on a scene, just an impression, and didn’t seem to register anything at all. Which is when I became aware that I was still in my body somewhere, and I was receiving warnings from it, something wasn’t right, and my alert emotions began to make an appearance.

Panic and pain messages were somehow coming from my body, real stress. The last two pieces I had been in had caused me direct pain somewhere, and somehow I knew that, and I was responding to those priority interrupts overriding everything else to get to through.

 

But those insights came now with my own desire and instant addiction, and I wanted to know more; having tasted so much knowledge, I couldn’t resist it. It was a pure and perfect drug. Instant doctorates were a thrilling overpowering temptation, and it was enthralling, exciting, and intoxicating. I wanted this more than anything - it was overpowering, the desire, the need, and yet I knew it was going to kill me.

 

I was definitely going to die, and I couldn’t help it, and somehow in this place I didn’t seem to really care, it was just the way it was.

To experience and understand these awe-inspiring things was worth it, even for an instant more. The pain was acute now, and my perception grew numb along with an ever increasing humming, or ringing, like the dull loss of senses and ringing in the ears after an explosion.

 

I ignored them now, set on a fixed path, and the consequential matter of death wasn’t a problem. I was inside another piece, I wasn’t even sure what it was for, and it felt as though every cell in my body was screaming questions and answers; it was intense, a point of absolute extreme pressure, a criticality of stress, a single point integrated at many levels with me somehow in-between.

 

Now it was all coming from around and below on the absolute limits of everything, a reference point, it was too much, too intense. So I came out again into the void.

Then, for an instant, I felt something come from my body, communicating with me somehow with whatever was around me, below and then through me.

I perceived it and took it in; it was different and out of context with what was going on before. I had no reference or explanation or relation to it, but it was no matter, I was now on the edge of death, no return, I knew it, and everything started going on all at once beyond any control. Something seemed to be intervening.

Everything happened at every level very fast - a mass rush of information. Something was not right. Something had gone drastically wrong in so many ways.

Then suddenly a real voice spoke as if from somewhere else, and called my name.

I latched on to it, connected to it, and everything stopped still. Dead calm.

 

I was transfixed in a motionless state, paused in the void, with just the intense humming feeling remaining, waiting.  Again the voice came, and suddenly there was a hand in my hand. The hand was there, I knew it somehow.

 

I couldn’t feel it, it wasn’t pressing my skin, but it was just there. And now I sensed another hand, on my forearm, but that wasn’t really there either.

The voice had spoken my name again and everything froze around me waiting for something to happen, like the silence in the aftershock of a shell exploding or earthquake, and a deeply oppressive feeling.

 

But the lure and hunger for the knowledge drug, of carrying on in here to see everything was intoxicating, and totally addictive, and inescapable, and I had seemingly already bound part of what I was to it, and leaving here intact would be impossible. 

 

I then heard the voice say “come back!” a request... of urgent feeling...a command.

So that was the moment, right then. I chose. I waited for a moment dwelling on the place I was in for a second more just to remember it, and then followed the voice. I no longer wanted to be left here in the emotionless void.

 

There was a rush out of the dark, and a rapid transition of paradigm, context,  and phase. I became more aware of my body, and the temperature in the room, the voice (my wife), the air and the light. Just like waking from anesthetic, although different.

Gasping for air and breathing hard I became aware of a pain in my head that was unimaginable, like no other pain I had ever known, like nothing you could describe, and beyond any type of hangover.

 

Parts of my body were numb and immovable.

 

I was soaking wet and lying in cold sweat, my face hot. I tried to move but was all over the place; rhythms of nervous electrifying vibration going through my body, my left leg and arm were weak and unresponsive. My mind was on fire. Everything in the room moved, and seemed vibrant and sharp, alive with an eye-opening intensity, colour, contrast and auras that made my eyes ache.

 

It felt like I had been there for several hours, but in reality, it had only been twenty minutes or so at most. So much information and knowledge in such a short space of time. The feeling wasn’t odd though. It felt bland, like I had just simply been down the library and picked up and read a few books, as you do.

Despite the panic I was immediately aware that I was now very different. My perception on life had completely changed along with everything around me. There had been a significant transformation affect, physically and mentally.

 

It wasn’t so much the newfound mass of knowledge and vision that I now had, it was more the perspective that I now took on everything, powerful and encompassing revelations, a completely different understanding, a new way of seeing things. My senses were alive, and now my mind worked in a different way.

What I now had in my brain, although very mixed up, was a mass of information that wasn’t there before. I wasn’t just left with the experience and memory (as in a dream) but most of the knowledge I had been exposed to was all still there, and it was verifiable.

 

 I could sense it all still there, like implanted packets of data flashing back at me, but not naturally or logically structured, just there, unlinked in different locations. It hadn’t gone, it was all still there, distributed throughout my head.

 

Unfortunately, along with it came a very real and ominous impression that somehow a mistake had been made. A breach of protocol, an error, as if something shouldn’t have happened, or that I had seen too much.

 

I hadn’t been asleep or unconscious. I hadn’t travelled off somewhere or been imagining it; it had happened. It was very, very real, direct and clear, hard and precise.

Over the years since then I have discovered that some of this knowledge was fanciful (imaginal), incorrect or contradictory, but most of it was highly accurate, highly advanced (even for our collective human knowledge), and in many cases precognitive.

 

It took me two weeks to physically recover from this one event (had several days of enhanced visual perception and sensitivity). I took medical advice and had MRI and brain scans via surgeons/consultants (there was no evidence of stroke or brain damage, but did have a blown spinal discs c5/6/7 with spinal stenosis and spinal syrinx (trauma to spine causing fluid in central spinal canal in neck).

 

The experience overall was very transformative and for want of a better word massively ‘enlightening’.

 

Since then had several more NDE experiences (although nothing on this scale) and many esoteric, extreme gnosis, and mass synchronicity experiences – which I have attempted to document within my work, both in fictional and no-fictional form.